I asked my tiny friends on Facebook what the worst thing to say on a date was.
They had a few ideas from experience.
Unfortunately, I recalled using some of them on my dates.
Which is why I don’t date now.
Let’s get started.
1. “You Remind Me Of My Ex.”
This is like going to a job interview and the boss says You remind me of exactly the type of person we fire.
2. “You Remind Me Of My Dad.”
Just say You’re never getting laid.
3. “Does This Look Infected To You?”
If it’s debatable, it’s not presentable.
4. “I Forgot To Take My Meds.”
Anti-rapist pills? Diarrhea? When we wonder, we start with those.
5. “So I Read On Google That You…”
We want to be courted, romanced, then creepily stalked. Don’t upset the order.
6. “You’re Late. Are You Screwing Someone Else?”
Yes! Let’s keep it short, I’m late for another screwing appointment.
7. “You Don’t Watch That ‘To Catch A Predator’ Show, Do You?”
Be proud. It’s network TV.
8. “I Have The Worst Hemmorhoid.”
You can compare this one to others? Think of what the future will bring
9.”I Only Brought Enough Money For What I Got.”
Nothing’s hotter than poorness.
10. “I’ve Already Sent You A Friend Request On Facebook.”
So you can’t ever, ever leave me.
That’s just the beginning. I’m sure you have more. Leave a line in the comments, and let me know if it actually happened to you.
On Twitter? Follow me here.
Thank you to my tiny friends on Facebook for allowing me to harvest and exploit their minds.
Images by ShutterStock.
10 Things You Can Never Say On A Date. - @TremendousNews!