Recently, Amy Shearn shared a list of things not to say to stay-at-home moms. She could have just cited anything Elizabeth Wurtzel has written in the past year, but that would have been too easy. Instead, Shearn came up with a list that was funny and clever and pointed in all the right ways. Which got me thinking about questions or comments I've heard about being a working mom. I don't think anyone sets out to be rude or judgmental, but I've been surprised at what well-meaning and generally thoughtful people say to mothers who aren't staying home full-time with their children. There's a subtle hostility or judgment that comes through in some of these statements that makes me wish that everyone would, every so often, think before they speak. Read more... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/devon-corneal/what-not-to-say-to-a-working-mom_b_2566952.html?utm_hp_ref=daily-brief?utm_source=DailyBrief&utm_campaign=012913&utm_medium=email&utm_content=BlogEntry&utm_term=Daily%20Brief
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
by John Gray
Wouldn't it be great if your love relationship could be a bed of roses all the time? Imagine being magically transported to a land of brilliant sunrises and sunsets where there were no misunderstandings or hurt feelings, no sideways glares, no slammed doors, and no arguing. As much as any couple may avoid fighting, the truth is, one minute you may feel great passion, and the next you're contemplating divorce!
Too many times we justify this shift in attitude by thinking that our partner's behavior needs an overhaul. Funny thing though, it's usually not about them! So what's next? How can couples open the communication again and put an argument behind them?
Read on as we take a look at the six steps to leaving a fight in the dust and getting back on the road to lasting romance.
Take the Edge Off - Get a Little Space The best way to stop an argument is to nip it in the bud. Men, in particular, need to cool off and think things through. Women need to make sure that they are not bringing a 'cold-front' to the negotiating table. This is a good time to reflect on how you usually approach your partner. Take a step back and think about how much you love this person. Also, focus on your own needs and take some self-healing time.
Ease Into It After Some Downtime Approach each other slowly and softly after some downtime. Wait until you can feel positively about your partner and the relationship, as it's impossible to work things out when negative emotions are still on the surface. If your anger, hurt or frustration is still overwhelming, take it as a sign that you are not ready to jump into solution making. It's too easy to blow things out of proportion unless you take a step back and ease in to the resolution slowly.
Nothing Too Serious After some time has passed, come back and talk again, but in a loving and respectful way. Fueling the argument is not your goal. Take it easy, and keep the conversation light, because even though some time has passed, you still may not be able to be objective right away. Simple gestures like a smile, holding hands or getting your partner to laugh at something silly and unrelated to the situation can be good icebreakers.
Women Need to Talk Women often need to completely talk the problem through before they are able to stand aside and put it behind them. Men can mistakenly feel blamed and attacked when a woman works through her problems by talking, so it's a good idea for her to reassure him. By letting him know how much he is supporting her by listening, she will free him from feeling unappreciated or attacked as she rehashes the details of the upset.
Men Need to Be Forgiven After a big blow-up, men simply need to be told that they are forgiven. The four magic words to support a man in getting over hurt or angry feelings are, "it's not your fault." A man hates to feel criticized, or that his partner disapproves of him. When a woman forgives her partner for his mistakes, she not only frees him to love again but also gives herself permission to forgive her own imperfections.
Both Parties Need to Take Personal Responsibility Couples can't point fingers after an argument and expect things to get better. Both men and women have to acknowledge
communication. Men have to let go of being righteous, demanding and overly sensitive, while women have an opportunity to apply new and improved relationship skills to assure him that he is appreciated and that she does not blame him for the fight.
Learning to communicate with each other through stormy times is essential to the success of a long-lasting relationship. While the best advice we have for couples is to
ordinary life can get in the way of even the happiest Martian and
forgiveness really is key for both sides. None of us will ever find a mate who
however, we can be the best for the one who is most perfect for us.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Vancouver student Rosea Lake's photo entitled "Judgement" with more than 280,000 people liking and re-blogging it on Tumblr. Read more... http://m.thestar.com/news/canada/article/1316033--vancouver-student-s-photo-of-leg-reflects-how-women-are-judged-based-on-skirt-length
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
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